Breakfast

Last night I was all set: I was GOING to ride my bike to school today. The moment I became conscious this morning, however, I changed my mind. Being drained and shouting four-letter-words at existence wasn't my only obstacle - or excuse - it was freezing and windy out. When I got off the bus (which I just made in time) I stepped over a puddle frozen solid. I thought Spring was on its way. I even saw two hot girls running in short-shorts through campus last week (my unofficial test that Spring is on its way), but apparently Winter is still with us.

On a plus side, I did - barely - just get up with enough time to spare to cook and east a good breakfast - fried ham and eggs - omelet-style. It's nice having breakfast. Along with drinking more straight water during the day, it helps to curb and manage appetite, and I have more energy for morning classes. Always a plus. Now the only thing to do is get enough sleep, and I'll be all right.

Slack

It was just a few years ago, the year after the year I'd spent taking full-time (5-class) semesters for three years straight, that I'd downgraded to a part-time course-load. There was a four-class and two-class semester, plus a part-time job.. and it was during that time that I wondered how I'd ever done it - a full, 5-class-full-time school schedule.

Last year it was worse again - I have this nasty habit of trying to put too much on my schedule/plate. I decided, "Hey! I only have a full and demanding course load, I know what I'll do - get a part-time job!" .. and so I did, and while I met some great people, and made a little side-cash, I pushed myself too hard, and too far, and ended up giving seemingly everyone not as much as they deserved - myself included. I ended up burning out, and getting a string of the lowest grades I've ever gotten.

Fast forward to this school year. A new program - but each class was generally a lighter load - but I had 6 classes in the fall, and no job, and for some reason everything just seemed to culminate - assignment-wise - in the last month of classes. The result was a month or so of zero social activity - and two real all-nighters to finish papers.

So this brings me to the present. Over the Holidays I had 19 consecutive days off in a row. Unheard of. Then, as if in full-circle, I was left with just 5 classes - less than the Fall Semester. At one time I had shuddered at the thought of a full 5-class course load, but now it just seems easy. Sure, they're -Ed- classes, but I'm finding myself with enough time to put my feet up on a fairly regular basis, carry a very-part-time-job, and even socialize, and I'm quite appreciating it. :)

Getting out... with new shoes.

Sometimes you just need to get out of the house, but have nowhere to go.

Today was one of those days. Didn't help that it was pouring rain outside either.

Too often when I'm feeling that urge I end up engaging in consumerist behavior. That itch has a talent of drawing me in - like Medusa, except warm buildings, where you're obligated or obliged to spend money on shiny new things. It's a draw that works on an emotional level - fueled by the little ego, the 'little me', in all our heads that wants to enhance itself by acquiring mental 'forms' - sometimes physical things, or mind-constructs of status, that it can make itself feel better with. The ego's only weapon is emotion - and it's so good at using it that it has most of us completely fooled into believing that our emotions, and therefore our ego, is really 'us', and that we're the ones in control, not our emotions.

Bullocks.

Last Friday I left my warmest/comfiest hoodie in the back seat of my coworker's car. I couldn't find it this week, but then, when I realized where it must be,I got impatient, and my 'little me' jumped on this opportunity. There's nothing the little consumerist ego likes more than to buy new things to make itself feel enhanced - self-enhanced. I was going to be without my hoodie for, what, like 2 or 3 more days before I got it back, but I had already made plans to go out and buy a nice, new one.

I stifled the urge - but then I hated myself for it. Buying new shit is fun - and my ego was pumping out negative emotions - disappointment - that it didn't get to feed itself with the new acquisition. ... The thing about the 'little me', though, is that it's never satisfied. It doesn't matter if it's buying things, bullying, socially maneuvering, or having sex. It's never satisfied.

It's the 'new shoe' phenomenon. Buying a new pair of shoes feels great, doesn't it? ...Yeeeeaaaahhh... - walking down the street - or through the mall, with your new shoes - you just feel great. There's an extra bounce to your step - hell, you'll even notice people of the opposite sex checking you out more now than ever. New shoes are fucking great. ... but how long does that last? a week? two? three - probably not that long. They've probably got a few scuffs on them by this point - or, at least 'mentally' (where the little ego lives) they're not new anymore - so that 'new shoe feeling' is lost. So what else does the little ego have left than to have you go out and buy something else?

Why can't we all just have that 'new shoe' feeling all the time?

Piers Morgan

I hate to say it, but I hardly miss Larry King. Piers Morgan was such a great and obvious choice, despite me never thinking of him as a candidate before I heard that he was the new CNN replacement.

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, Larry King, who had being doing his interview show for CNN for decades, retired a few weeks ago, and, after a week or two of his absence, CNN announced that Piers Morgan, British actor and journalist, would be filling his place.

Jolly'o, I say. Piers Morgan is an excellent choice. Maybe it's just the fact that most British accents seem to make people sound smarter to me, but he seems like the perfect fit to fill the role of intelligent and objective interviewer/journalist. Again, maybe it's just the accent, but he seems like the kind of guy who will take the role - in lou of Larry King - very, very seriously.

I never watched Larry King that often - not that I watch TV, besides my favourite programs, very often - but he seems like the guy, who, if I was particularly interested in hearing what the person he was interviewing had to say, that I would want interviewing, on my behalf, that person.

Bad-Ass, Piers, Bad-Ass.

Procrastination

.. just handed in my paper, that my prof said was fine "as long is we got it in to her today." Hand-in time by email: 11:59PM my email.



I'm a habitual procrastinator, and I don't see that changing any time while I'm still a student.

ps: look at the time of this post.

Boobs aren't funny.

It's both a meme and long-over-immitated cliché by now, but yet another company has come out with a pardoy of the "The man your man should smell like" Old Spice bodywash commercial. This time it's the British newspaper the Sun. The commercial is very similar to the original, but with one key difference: it's a topless chick.



It's very well done, but for some reason it's just not that funny like the original. Yeah, part of that is the fact that the cliché is old-hat, but also because.. well.. only guys acting weird is funny.

This is probably one of my biggest anti-feminist complaints. It's become so tabboo to display women in an inflattering light, that writers, of all mediums, are afriad to write women in the the role of 'the stupid one'. As a result, men, almost solely, are always the one in the scene of any sitcom, movie or commercial, who are providing the comedic aspect by: acting socially inappropriate, being stupid, being ironic, having poor manners, having bad hygene or making unflattering bodily noises, being the ones 'not in the know', or laughing at things that aren't funny. The Old Spice Guy utilizes this: he's both man-candy and comical - he never looks away from the camera, picks up things without looking first, and has a constant, un-human smirk of confidence on his face while he talks without moving the rest of his body- which is funny.

In the Sun's version it's a topless(though covered by her hair) attractive woman. The fact that she also looks at the camera while all of her body (except her mouth) remains motionless, just doesn't sit right. Women in media aren't portrayed doing socially abnormal and physically awkward things like that.

Evenings & Weekends

Today marked the first time I've changed my cell plan in years. Yesterday I got a call out of the blue from my cell phone provider, and of course they were trying to sell me something, but what they were trying to sell me, a new plan based on how much I was already spending, actually made sense.

It's very rare that that happens - that some customer service representative pushes some product or service plan on me that's actually of real benefit to me (although, statistically not for most, apparently, otherwise they wouldn't offer it.), and not just a cash-grab that most of these things are. The other deal I stumbled upon: The Source's warranty on ear buds. Ear buds always break. It didn't help either that the salesgirl was really cute, but she sold me- strictly logically (I swear), on the ~$4 warranty on the ear buds I was buying, based on the fact that I knew my luck with earbuds - and her insistence that it was really a great warranty. With my previous pair, which I had come in to the store that day to replace, one ear had become finicky and was more of a problem than it was worth. Sure enough, that's exactly what happened to this new pair a year later, so I took them back to the store (without any packaging), and they (unfortunately not said cute salesgirl) replaced them with a new pair- zero questions asked. Took five minutes, and I have another one or two more replacements covered if needed in the next year and a half.

So my new phone plan, which isn't prepaid, gets unlimited evenings and weekends, unlimited texting, voicemail and call display, plus 100 anytime minutes, for $25 flat. No other bullshit fees, which is why I'm with the provider I'm with. My only concern: the 100 'anytime' minutes, which are really 'weekday-daytime' minutes, don't seem like enough. Basically everyone I know who's on or been on a phone contract has been screwed on at least one of their phone bills - something I generally avoided with prepaid. ...We'll see.

Monkey see, monkey destroy clown

Today in Psychology of Adolescence, we talked about teenage risk-taking. Apparently, studies performed have revealed that, while teenagers by age 15 posses nearly their full adult logical and rational capabilities, it all goes to shit when their friends (or any kind of peer group) is around.

Interestingly, this is actually a hard-wired part of adolescent brain development. Parts of the brain that deal with logic, decision-making, forward-thinking and self-regulation, and parts that deal with social and emotional stimuli, develop differently. At puberty the first - the socioeconomical network - becomes assertive quickly, but only slowly matures - unlike the logical centres, which, again, are pretty much fully developed by 15. The balance between these two sides that lets people actually control their emotions during emotional or social stimuli doesn't come about until about age 25.

I had a bit of a chuckle to myself in today's class, because over the past few years I've had the fortune to meet a handful of people who exude this developmental characteristic to-the-T: Girls, who, despite being very smart and capable of intellectual conversation, were excessively prone to acting BAT SHIT CRAZY, unabashedly selfish, instantly hyper-emotional, and stupid, whenever any element of emotional or social interaction was triggered.

It all makes sense now.


PS: If you happen to be one of the people I'm talking about, and you've found your way here, Yes, I'm talking about you.

Crapola.

Is it just me, or do all the big-budget movies coming out this year look like crap? Two super-hero movies with the word Green in the title, an animated Gnomeo and Juliet, which- you guessed it, is a retelling of Romeo and Juliet - except with garden gnomes, plus there's Red Riding Hood in the style of Twilight, a remake of The THING, a much unneeded fourth installment of Pirates of the Caribbean (Yarr), and just when you thought you could at least count on an original and heart-warming future classic from Pixar come June, they're releasing Cars 2 --the least deserving of a sequel of all the Pixar films -- Seriously?! Plus let's not forget to dishonorably mention: Transformers 3, The Hangover 2, The Smurfs, Piranha 3DD (that's not a typo), Spy Kids 4, Twilight: Breaking Dawn, Alvin and the Chipmunks 3, and last and almost certainly least: Justin Beiber: Never Say Never.

All is not lost, however. There are a few ripe tomatoes among the rotten. Last November's seventh installment of the Harry Potter Series was a surprising gem, and, if the directional style stays consistent, the second half, with the much-needed addition of more action and special effects, should be outstanding. Plus, there's a new Muppets movie (shut up, everything with muppets rocks), and Scream 4 (should be a fun popcorn-muncher). I'll also hold judgement on Kung Fu Panda 2 and Super 8 - both of which have a tentative positive outlook.

But hey, let's look on the bright side. If nothing else, 2011 might be the year we all keep our newyears resolutions to read more books.

Back on the Road

It was June 2006, and I fell in love. We'd go for drives, just for the sake of driving,... She was shiny and new. I remember pulling up to Willows Beach with her on our first time out, showing her off to everyone around. I was going to take great care of this one. I'll remember that honeymoon period forever. ..

...but eventually I didn't appreciate her as much as I should have. I'll admit it, I took, well, taking her for a spin, for granted. It wasn't long before her age started to show tho - she didn't shine as much when when I took her out on the town, and pretty soon all we had left to do together was to go to Wal-Mart.

But today we're reunited. My four-month breakup from my car didn't last, as I need it once again for my job, which will also allow me to afford her again. And even though I haven't taken it for a drive yet, I couldn't be more excited.

There's something special about having a car... it means freedom. Over the last couple of months I've come to realize that, and I hope for more than the next little while, that I'll appreciate it more than I did for the past several years. Victoria has a great transit system, and since the school year started, and especially since Dec.4th when I took my car off the road, I've gotten very, very acquainted with it, but there's nothing like having your own set of wheels.

On a final positive note, i found out today, that with 11 years of driving, I officially have the maximum discount on my car insurance possible. That doesn't hurt. =)

Job.

Whew - just under the wire again. 11:57PM post start-time.

Today I resumed my job: running after school camps. It was my first chance to apply some of the teaching strategies I'd learned in my Ed program. Though I've had 5 months in the program, and in that time I've been able to reflect upon how I'd apply the dozens of teaching strategies I've learned and practiced, I found today, that when the rubber hit the road, none of it mattered.

Kids are good - but today was probably the hardest group to control I've ever had for an hour. It was a private school, uniforms and all, and I was told by a staff member that the kids at the school were all well behaved, "except for a few turkeys", but what I found was quite the opposite. Kids were bouncing off the walls, rolling around on the floor and table tops, and I had to break up a few boy wrestling matches at the beginning of class. It was like they had all been fed candy and Redbulls for the hour prior to camp's start. I probably spent at least a good 1/4 of my time waiting for them to quiet down - not all at once - but as a total throughout the class, and as a result I didn't get through my entire lesson plan. To be fair, our camps are normally between 12 and 18 eight-to-ten-year-olds in size, which is a manageable number for an after-school camp, but today it was 26. eesh.

I don't mean to complain - I love my job - but I wonder, or at least hope, that kids don't behave like this all day long. The stuff I teach them is FUN - I can only imagine if what I had to teach them was math! .. I'd like to think that being an actual teacher comes with some inherent sense of authority which makes kids behave better - and I'm sure there is, but there's always that sliver of doubt that makes me dread having to face a group like this when I'm teaching as a profession, and am actually required to get the curriculum through to them. ...and this is why I'm teaching highschool. HA!

The is a gleam of sunshine, however. The job, which is going to be 2 or 3 times a week at different schools, both requires and allows (and me to afford) me to put my car back on the road, which is worth celebration. But more on that tomorrow.

Whistling While You Work

Recently gotten a few words of praise for keeping this daily blog up. Thanks! But really not doing as well as it might appear. As you can see by the time of this post, I'd say the majority of the days I'm barely scraping by to make a post happen - or, started - by midnight. Though, I really didn't intend this blog to be a guaranteed daily thing, on the day - rather, a post for every day, regardless of the day it was posted on - meaning I'm allowed late and pre-written posts.

On another note, tonight I had the opportunity to observe, and take part in, a lively and helped-along-by-alcohol conversation with a few of my education cohorts about some of the reservations (pun intended) I/we've had in the last weeks about our classes - particularly, the tenor of a course we're all taking on Aboriginal education issues.

This relates back to the title of this post, "whistle while you work", meaning to make the best of a less than enjoyable, mandatory experience. Whistling is the front the worker puts on, which gives to others the impression that he feels amiably about the task he is doing, despite how he actually feels. Similar to my aboriginal class, many people are only saying what they think is appropriate in this very politically-correct-discussion-only-please environment. Turns out, many of us are holding back our true opinions about the subject matter and course readings.

Gift Cards

Several weeks ago, since I'm decidedly not working through this school year [that's about to change, but that's besides the point], I decided, since I'm poor, to cash in my collection of Air Miles for HBC Gift Cards. $150 worth. Not bad considering the only reason I have an AirMiles Card/Account is because I was sent one in the mail automatically for getting hired by Safeway back in 2006.

So, I had $150 to blow at any Zellers, Bay, or Home Outfitters. None of these place are my favourite to shop, so I wondered: can I buy gift certificates WITH gift certificates? The answer is yes - at Zellers anyway. Thought, rather than buying myself useless junk, I'd get gift cards for other places where I'm going to spend money anyways: Esso, and Cineplex, for buying gas and movie tickets in the future. After I bought the cards, I realized that Esso too probably sells gift cards - and the humorous thought occurred to me to challenge myself to see how many gift cards I could buy in succession from one store to another. Unfortunately, the fine print on the Esso card says it's good for everything in the store except cigarettes and gift cards. Shitters.

Water

Oddly, last week, more than one person in my cohort at school asked me about my Nalgene bottle, and the contents of it. Crystal Light - they weren't sure if it was greenish liquid in a green bottle, or just water in a green bottle.

But I made the move yesterday to switch to a water-only drinking regimen. I've always thought that I could get away with substituting water with water-based drinks, to get my proper daily water intake. I mean, they say, "don't replace water with fruity juices and pops", but I figured sweetening my water with a tiny, teaspoon-sized flavoring wouldn't matter. But I was wrong. I have a sweet addition, and constantly drinking nothing but sweetened drinks, even low-calorie ones, isn't doing me any good. On Monday I banned myself from sweet drinks, and the result has been more noticeable than I expected.

Even though Crystal Light is barely anything, pure water is doing a hell of a lot better job regulating my hunger and appetite. Eating sweet things, even artificially-sweetened low-calorie things, makes you more hungry. Drinking 700ml of water actually makes me full - and postpones my hunger for several hours. Going to continue this.

White Privilege

Had a bit of a rant today with one of my cohort-ee's. In one of our classes we were assigned to read an article. First let's just appreciate that I even read the article (ha!).

I was hardly able to finish the article because of the gross taste I got in my mouth (speaking figuratively). It was about White Privilege, but obviously contrary to the intentions of the author, I was not disgusted by the fact that I've been so oblivious to my own "undeserved privilege" . Nay, I was disgusted by the author's rhetoric - even racist - and overtly vicim-mindedness.

UGH. Being a victim - eg: self-identifying as a victim - is the worst thing anyone can do for themselves. It gets even more staunch when a group does it to themselves (see: feminism). It's the worst set of goggles to put on - and, even worse, with these goggles on, they start to resent any argument, even objective ones, that contradict their own belief that they are a victim. If you're ever studying the Ego, this is a great example.

It's gotten to the point that many of these groups (again, see: feminism), latch onto other groups that they can also identify as victims, to further strengthen their own feelings of victimization. Again, ego ego ego. The most frustrating part of it all, for me, is that, to the benefit of these groups, it's become politically incorrect to challenge these groups' assertion of victimization, even objectively, even in a place that supposedly facilitates higher learning. Welcome to UVic.

Class discussion tomorrow should be interesting.

When Bad Things Happen

Looking back, it's hard to think of any of those tragic, temporarily life-altering incidents in my life as bad. I could name them off - incidents with friends, and more-than-friends - but, ultimately, if you're reading this blog and you know me, you could probably name one if not many of the things that have stopped me in my tracks in life. But you know what, I don't regret any of the "bad" things that happened to me in the past.

I think, although usually deep in hindsight, that I'm always able to gain from my 'negative' experiences, and ultimately, though I'd refuse to believe it or see them in this light in-the-moment, I'm actually glad they've happened. There have been incidents in life that have made me lose sleep, lose friends, get kicked out of nightclubs, and been told to fuck off by the group of people I was with on a night out, but ultimately it's not hard just to look back and laugh at it all, and be glad for the experience life has given me. I'd even argue so far as to say that it's the collection of negative events in our lives that are the ones that do us the best - and that can be looked back upon as the most positive and rewarding experiences we have.

A humorous thought: why not cause ourselves to go through negative experiences on-purpose? Not saying I'm going to go out and do something life-altering, but I'm reminded of a movie Sarah told me about right after I got in my car accident last summer: a movie about car-crash survivors who find sexual stimulation from the release of adrenaline after being in life-threatening car crashes, thus the main characters of the movie steal cars to repeat this process. Carpe Diem.

Arm-Chair Education

I'm learning to become a teacher, but unfortunately I'm spending most of my time doing so sitting in a classroom as a student. There's plenty of analysis, deconstruction, and touchy-feely conversations about our (students') experiences and perspectives, but it seems like, in the end of this program, the result is going to be a lot of really great arm-chair teachers.

It's like... reading all the books about honey in the world. You could be the world's expert on honey - written dozens of papers and a Master's thesis on honey, without ever having tasted it. So many aspects of university seem to boil down to this - the notion that thinking - ad nauseam - is an essential precursor to doing.

I'll beg to differ. People - we're emotional creatures too. Sometimes, to get up and actually do something, especially something new and/or frightening and so experience-based, is just best. Gain skills in-field - of course with supervised guidance and moderated reflection to steer in the right direction. Sure, there NEEDS to be instruction ahead of time for us to become great teachers, and actually, our program is astonishingly short and to-the-point all things considered, but I can't help by feel that the staunch, dusty, pompous and boastfully academic atmosphere of the university isn't the right place to learn anything as skill-based, practical, or human, as teaching.

From my iPod.

So I thought I'd try something a little different today and post from my iPod touch. You can imagine how tedious this is going to be.

Today is the first time I'm going to see my summer coworkers since , well, the end of summer, and I look forward to it with apprehension and positive anticipation. I'm lucky to have a good job, and good coworkers, and, as my coworkers would agree, having a good job experience really makes it stand out from all your previous (and crappy) job experiences. I'm sure we've all had the shitty jobs, and perhaps done our best to make the best of them, but ultimately it's the job you both honestly enjoy, that challenges you, that you know you are bringing your own strengths and unique skills and talents to in order to both benefit the employer/client and yourself, that makes a good job. I'm lucky enough to have a job that fits this description, and feel lucky for it.

Being a One-Note Band

When I was, oh, say, 11, I was known by others -people who knew me, but not necessarily that well- as one of two things. At my campground, I was known as 'juggling boy', and at my elementary school, 'the magician'. Not that I was necessarily called those things exactly (well, sometimes), it was more that people thought of me along those lines. To them, the activity that they could most closely link me to, either of my hobbies at the time, was their way of relating to me, but for a lot of years I resented it. I didn't want to be a 2-dimensional character in anyone's eyes, and it was even worse that people often made a point of referring to me by the hobby of mine they most closely linked me with, like: "HEY COLIN, the MAGICIAN!". It bugged the hell out of me, and for my teenage years I sought to not be subjected to that, and often resented those, who, even with good intention, addressed me - or opened a conversation with me - by referring to that hobby.

Flash forward many years, and my perception has changed quite a bit. During my time in Mew Media at the UofL, and at UVic in computer science, I blended in - but now that I'm in Education, and as I'm the only future teacher in the program with a teaching concentration in either Computer Science or ICT, I find myself - my reputation or persona - is irrecoverably linked to Computers. It doesn't help that very few people in the program are anywhere near 'tech-savvy' - I'm often called out to be the one to help out with computer-related issues in class. People often start conversations with me at school with a topic about technology, and, last week, I was laughably called out by a few of my cohort-ee's to help the prof fix his digital projector settings in front of the entire class.

What I've realized over the past 5 or 6 years, it's that it's not that bad to be the one-note band. In fact, most if not all people are just that - known for their most notable or endearing quality by their acquaintances - and this is how they're related to. And that's OK. For some reason, for a long time, I resented this from others, but now I see that it's a natural process by which one recognizes value in another person as they get to know more about them.

There should be no airport security.

I haven't flown for two and a half years, but even then I couldn't help but think that it was all completely useless.

Airport Security.

In the last few weeks or so, as a man was boarding a commercial passenger plane, he was riffling (pun intended) through his carry-on, when he found a gun. True story: it was his gun, but he hadn't realized that he'd left it in his bag - the same bag that was now his carry-on luggage. Despite going through the newly enhanced airport security [thanks, TSA], none of the security measures, including the magic death-rays that let them peep into our bags, allowed them to see his gun just sitting there in his bag. Actually, and more likely, it was human error or laziness; either way, it illustrates that airport security is always going to be fallible.

But that's not even the big picture. The real fallacy is the belief that there are even commonly terrorists trying to board our flights, or that we should even be worried about them blowing up planes. Life is full of risks. They can't be avoided. Sooner or later, assuming you leave your house (OMG bad things can even happen in your house too!!), shit's gunna happen, and the worst thing we can do is fret over it.

Every year, in the U.S., between 33,000 and 44,000 people die in vehicle-related accidents. Yes, that's over 11x the number of people who died at the hands of terrorists on 9/11 - Every Year. Can you imagine how RIDICULOUS road safety laws would be if we applied the same fear-mongering mindset to them as we have to airport security?

These laws, the ones that let 'officials' break our laws and constitutions by invading our privacy by 'touching our junk', or by taking nudie-pictures of us, are so absurd, that you can't help but wonder where they're going to be applied to next. If I was a terrorist, which I'm not, I'd forget planes (pft! planes! too much security!) and focus on other densely populated areas to set off my bombs. Remember how crowded it was at the mall on Boxing Day, or how many tweenies were at the cineplex for the opening of the latest Twilight flick? OH YEAH. We're never safe - but we're always safe. 'The terrorists' could strike any time, anywhere, so what are we going to do, safeguard all public places with INTENSE TSA-like 'enhanced' security?! In South Africa, at the big mall in Durban, men are often waved down by security guards upon entering. I was many-a-time. I really wouldn't want that in Canada.

I don't know how to end this blog better than with the following video, which pretty much sums it all up. Mr. George Carlin:

Be Hatin'

So there's a person in my cohort, and people are more than beginning to hate on this person.

It's not me- that's not the problem. The problem is that this person talks a lot in class, often interrupting other people, and what this person is saying is ruffling a lot of feathers. I can't help but think that this person might have aspergers - meaning they have a brain.... unbalance - meaning they can't read other peoples' emotional reactions - they can't perceive that what they say might have an emotional, or perhaps insulting, affect on other people - nevermind the fact they he or she is speaking out of place in class, unable to see that the timing of their -frequent- comments are unnecessary and unwelcome.

I learned today that, compared to many other people, I take life, or what other people say and do, rather lightly. In some respects. If it's not directly aimed at me, I'm fairly good at looking at peoples' actions objectively, but recently I've found some other people in my cohort don't see the world, and the actions of fellow cohort-ees, in the same way as me, and they're hatin' on this one particular individual.

I kind of feel sorry for this individual, but partially not. Isn't it up to all people to find their own way in life - through all the fucked up social mazes, so that other people will like them, and they'll be 'socially normal' - and that their peers will see them as someone of value - someone they'll want to hang out with? The particular person I'm thinking of in my cohort was given ample chance to have such acceptance, but is dropping the ball royally, as it were, and with great finesse.

Sometimes we all feel like this person: the outcast. I'm not sure, in this case, if I should step in or not.

-Colin

TV Serii

Right now I'm in the dawn of watching the entire span of a television series, starting from complete scratch: How I Met Your Mother.

Not only is it an unbelievably cute and laugh-out-loud show, what's making the viewing experience all the better is the fact that I'll be watching, if I keep watching at a moderate pace, six complete seasons, commercial free, at any pace I desire.

Maybe it's my 21st-century-limited-attention-span, but I find shows, especially ones I get into, ruined by networks' lousy scheduling. High-budget dramas, like 24, House, and Lost, had between 14 and 24 episodes per season - but because the North American 'season' lasts somewhere in the range of September 'til May, those episodes get stretched thin, giving loyal followers 'breaks', sometimes spanning over a month without new episodes. And don't even get me started on commercials. Watching TV shows from the freedom of DVD-box-set, or, in my case, passed-along hard-drive collection, makes the experience of enjoying well-made shows all the more enjoyable and complete.

Thoroughly enjoying HIMYM [and on S02E13],

Colin

Free Tomatoes

Waiting in line is one of the most life-wasting activities [or, non-activities] I can think of- especially when it's for groceries. Fortunately, or maybe unfortunately, I have experienced it from both sides. Having been a cashier at two major grocery store chains, I can appreciate how hard/dull/repetitive/thankless of a job it is, so I give much sympathy for those doing it. That being said, knowing approximately what pace, and with what amount of skill I was able to do it, I often find myself frustrated when I commit to a line with a, let's call them, less-than-competent cashier. Today was one of those days- at Wal-Mart. I don't mind the store itself, more its lines: always over long, and the store front-end is always under-staffed. But that's not why I'm writing.

I'm writing because it's always best to make the best of a bad situation. As a cashier, you get to know the little, often humorous routines people do as they wait in line and as they proceed through checkout. One of my favourites is the 'how much will this order cost me' game. It's really only adventurous when someone, possibly yourself, is buying a buttload of groceries. I'm talking in the hundreds of dollars. Today at Wal-Mart I got behind just such a customer. It was a gamble: do I get in line behind a bunch of people with baskets and third-full carts, or just one person with a MASSIVELY full cart. I chose the latter, and the experience was entertaining. It was a husband and wife, and within minutes of entering their line, I struck up a conversation, and proceeded to introduce them to my game. The husband was particularly amused, and very touchy - he was always patting me on the stomach constantly as a gesture of showing me he was impressed with my game, and guessing- but all in all we had a fun experience making waiting in line less excruciating. I bet him early on that his order would total $560. I was off - mostly because their [the husband and wife's] items were stacked over a foot high off the belt, hiding the identity and number of items from view. Near the end, after pulling to scan the last of three pizzas, the cashier revealed a stack of shrinkwrapped steaks - each $10 - I knew I'd be off: the total bill was $640. Not bad, I say. The husband joked that he needed to take me shopping with him from then on.

In the end, it was a great experience.. Live life, talk to your checkout-line-mates.

After all that, which was maybe 15-18 minutes standing in line, our cashier overcharged me for my tomatoes. She keyed in the code for HotHouse tomatoes instead of Field tomatoes [pfft, amateur!], and so I was overcharged. I didn't notice it until I was outside, so, after begrudgingly deciding to go back inside, waiting in the Customer Service line for 7 minutes, the supervisor just wrote off the tomatoes, and gave them to me for free. success! May I not go back there for at least a month.

PUSH, the talking trash can.

This video was shot by a former New Media student, Tanya. I'm not necessarily the biggest fan of Disney, and I'm even less a fan of having a Disney-fied Christmas, but I find this, the subject of the video, PUSH, the robot trash can, awesome. It's amazing how many little touches, and absurdly talented people they have working behind the scenes there at Disneyland- Enough that they can have a talking trash can, that starts talking to people unexpectedly when they throw something out.

Textbooks

Just done the second day of classes of the spring semester. I've said if before, always at this time of the semester exactly, but I'll say it again: profs should damn-well look up the cost of the textbooks they're assigning students to buy, before deciding on them as the class text.

The problem really lies in the fact that profs get texts for free. Either the university pays for their copy, or they receive the textbook as promotion (and profs receive a LOT of unsolicited textbooks from publishers), so cost is of little concern for profs regardless. Second, and this is perhaps the only noble of the reasons, profs, at least the good ones, are on the lookout for the BEST text - with the best content, without regards of the price. BAD profs just accept the text used my previous iterations of the course, taught by other professors, without regard to the quality or cost of the book.

This is really a rant, spurred on by the fact that all of my textbooks this semester are near or over $100 a pop (a couple up to $150). I'm looking at $400 of textbooks that I can't afford this semester, and it blows. To add insult to injury, profs always spit out a less than half-hearted 'oh, sorry about the cost of the text' - though it's obvious they had put little consideration into this factor, leaving debt-loaded students to foot the bill.

In a day and age of computers and the internet, it's more than feasible that profs could find ALL readings for their classes online, but, possibly because of age (and dislike for, or disenchantment with, technology[many prefer reading off of paper]) they're more likely to pick something off the shelf.

Boo-urns I say to all this. Bring on the photocopier.

Goodbye, Double-Down. =(

Yesterday was a sad day, for more reasons than just our Mens Jr. Hockey team losing the gold medal game to Russia.

I found out that KFC is no longer selling the double-down. .......

The double down was awesome, and never got the credit it deserved. Two Original Recipe chicken breasts, bacon, and cheese. Genius. The media bashed it, without ever really doing the research, or giving it a chance.

FACT: the double down had the EXACT same number of calories as a Big Mac (but was more filling than a Big Mac)

FACT: the double down had only 3 more grams of fat than the Big Mac (32g vs 29g in the Big mac)

FACT: the media hasn't, in any recent memory of mine, put the kind of negative media out against the Big Mac that it did against the Double-Down.

To be fair, I was warned from the start. KFC *did* advertise it in Canada as a 'limited time' item. Nevertheless, Double-Down, you'll be missed =(

--almost missed it

phew. 11:59pm. almost missed today's post. I feel like Indiana Jones, barely having time to slide under the closing rock door by the skin of his teeth, managing to quickly grab his hat and pull his arm back before the door completely crushes his arm. In my case: missing a blog post, but equally as detrimental to my well-being, I assure you.

Today marked the last day of my 19 days off for the Holidays. Like many-a-days before it, I slept in til the afternoon, and got nearly nothing notable done except being a spectator of our beloved national sport - in which today it was a sad day for all my fellow Canadians. World Juniors: Canada fell 5-3 to Russia in the Gold Medal Game.

So, tomorrow I'm back to school. I'm looking forward to seeing all the faces I'd become accustomed to seeing on a daily basis throughout the last semester. New classes, new profs, new subject material, but, like in New Media at the UofL, it's definitely nice being in a tight-nit cohort of peers in my program. I can genuinely say that I truly like every single person in my Education Program cohort, and despite our many varying personalities and varying areas of interest, we all seem to get along well.

'til tomorrow.

Tiredness

It seems that whenever I have prolonged time off - like I have in the past 2.5 weeks, I become very, very tired, and equally as lazy. Today was no different. Here's the rundown[times are approximate]:

11:00AM: Get Up, Miscellaneous computer-time
1:00PM: Shower
1:30PM: Help Mother with computer issues (just upgraded her iMac to Snow Leopard yesterday)
2:00PM: Lunch (Tuna Salad)
2:30PM: TV & finally sort the big bag of paper recycling from last summer
3PM-4:30PM: TV Catch-up. New episode of Two and a Half Men.
4:30-7:15PM: Nap.
7:25PM: Dinner (make-it-yourself Mexican food [low carb])
8PM-10PM: Season Premiere of The Biggest Loser. always inspiring.
10:05PM: Blog

Oh, how I'm going to look back on days like this, when the semester and my following practicum in May are in their peak and most stressful, with total envy.

From past experience, I've found going for an evening walk before bed really makes me feel good: 1 part fresh air & light exercise, 1 part getting away from this screen. Reading in bed will follow. On Thursday I start classes again, so just one more day of freedom.

My Favourite Post Ever

Monkey See. from Feb 9, 2009

I actually used this blog post, after I wrote it, as the bulk of the first half of an essay I handed in months later. It encapsulates much of what swirled through my head at that time in my life, and has developed into further mind-meanderings since.

The human being is a curious animal. Compared to the millions of other species on this planet we're capable of much greater and faster progress. What most notably sets us apart from most inhabitants of this world is that we are able to learn socially. It's quite rare in mammals- the ability to learn from direction, from social cues or be able to work in cooperation with one-another to accomplish mutual goals. Dolphins have some ability here, and so does your dog. Throw a ball for Pooch to fetch, and if he's unable to quickly find it, whistle to him and point to its approximate location, and the dog understands that you're giving him direction to the location of the object he's seeking. Amazing. Some species of primates aren't even able to do that, while others accomplish much higher complex tasks such as working together on tasks to accomplish mutually beneficial goals.

We, thankfully, are far more advanced, and as evolution has seen to it, we've developed into a species capable of complex social patterns, and interpersonal cooperations have brought us amazing things like airplanes, open heart surgery, Teletubbies – and, possibly more importantly – the way in which we act as a species towards each other – speaking on both macro and micro levels.

Humans take in raw-data about the world in basically two ways: through first hand experience, and via social means - 'social learning'. The first is obvious: we learn from an early age what objects feel like to touch, what hot and cold feel like, etc. The second, social learning, is more complex: we learn social norms, appropriate behaviors, the way we think human-to-human interactions should work, a value system of right and wrong and a hierarchy of importance through subconscious observation, mimicking, taking direction, etc. We learn most of what we know through this process and it is this that shapes who we are, and our subjective perspectives of our environment and situations.

But social-learning has its quirks. Growing up and going to school in Victoria we, likely several times a school year, held earthquake drills – where a rumbling sound would come over the PA system simulating the sound of an earthquake. We were taught that on such occasions (and, during real earthquakes) that we were to 'duck and cover' – meaning we were to duck under our desks, facing away from the window while covering the back of our necks with one hand, and holding a desk leg with the other.

On the infrequent occurrences of these earthquake drills there was an interesting phenomenon. The 'earthquake' would come over the PA, and, instead of immediately ducking and covering, we would momentarily look around at each other and the teacher. We all new, through repetitious training and reminders, exactly what to do, but it was instinctual to look around first to seek social consensus before acting on personal knowledge. I find this example most significantly interesting because is seems we would waste time by looking around at our peers in the event of a life-threatening disaster. Why would evolution see fit to make this apart of our behavior, if, seemingly, we could achieve the duck-and-cover in less time if we relied directly on our own knowledge of what to do in that situation.

As primarily social-learners, what we see as 'true' or 'right' is often the result of the forces of social conditioning. We look onto the behaviors of others to assess situations, and for the reactions of others to determine our own sense of self, the value of things and even other people. If something has received wide acceptance, we tend to simply believe or accept the thing, person or behavior as normal and acceptable and of a high value, even often in times that, if we had used our own faculties of judgment we would think otherwise. (of course, there is always limits – when our own feelings oppose)

Franchises are an example of a product receiving heightened level of success, not necessarily on their own merit, but of a perceived level of 'social proof' garnering the business with such traits as 'more successful' and 'trustworthy'. A small business entrepreneur is more likely to achieve success opening a Subway restaurant rather than an independent sandwich shop, because people are less inclined to trust or feel good about a brand that they believe has not gained wide social approval. The video store I go to – an independent chain of 2 locations, is directly across an intersection from a Rogers Plus. If all else were equal – my small video store would thwamp Rogers Plus out of existence – having new release rentals at less than half the cost of their competitor. But all is not equal. Someone driving by the Rogers Plus is washed over with a strong and most often inescapable feeling of higher value about the store because of its perceived social proof – a perceived test of social scrutiny passed by his peers.

A more entertaining example: Jackass, the movie. After its wide release and soaring popularity, young people were seen worldwide attempting the same and similar stupid and very life-threatening stunts they saw Johnny Noxville and others do in the movie. You might think, that, in a species that was capable of achieving marvels ranging from space-travel to intricate nano-technology, that we would surely be rational enough to not do things like ride down steep hills towards traffic in shopping carts. But that same mechanism that allows us to have social cooperation also fools us, even in the face of death. Jackass, with its wide popularity quickly gained it high status and social proof. When we see people or behaviors that have these attributes, the natural inclination is to believe those things to be true or correct.

Recently, and regularly, events and movements take place that have people act in ways that defy rationality. Look at riots – and, for that matter, large spectator fights at soccer games. Why do they happen? While I'm sure participants are well aware of the dangers of riots and fights before they find themselves a part of one, people – in masses, often defy their own common sense.

In social situations we are always 'pinging' the interactions and reactions of others to gain a sense of etiquette and social normality among our peers. There's something about being in the presence of a group of people that share a common reality – 'group think' - that makes us compelled to act in the same way. If there is such an event where enough people are able to set the tone of the social reality in a given place, others will, in many cases, subconsciously adjust their behavior and attitudes to fit the situation. Oddly enough, if you were to teleport-out a riot participant who was in the middle of ripping down a street sign, or a spectator at a soccer game in mid-punch into a completely different and calm environment, they would be stunned by their rapid change of state and able to provide no real reason why they were acting in such a manor. Likely they would be in a state of confusion, our would attempt to backwards rationalize their behavior.

A few days ago I turned on the TV to find a program about cults – specifically the Manson Family. A segment in the show cut away to an experiment that had taken place where a 'focus group' of 4 participants was shown sets of two pieces of paper side-by-side by a presenter. On the first piece of paper was one single thick black bar of a certain length, and on the other, three bars of different lengths labeled A,B and C, one of which matched the length of example bar from the first piece of paper. In order, the study participants were asked aloud which of the thee options matched the example bar. The examples were similar, but obvious enough that a small child would be able to match the bars correctly. The study was done such that participants 1, 2, and 3 were secretly a part of the study, while only 4 was an actual participant. The study found that when all three other participants repeatedly incorrectly answered the questions, almost all real participants would begin incorrectly matching the bars. Such a study indicated the power of a 'social reality'.

In Cults, as the program focused on, a person of high status was able to dictate the reality of a large number of people. This phenomenon is not limited to cults – people perceived to be highest status in a social group often lead trends and the style of dialogue of the group. On a macro level, the same is true with celebrities.

Several years ago the rapper Nelly got a cut on his face shortly before a public appearance, and put small band-aid on his cheekbone diagonally over it. It was no time before masses of little rapper wannabes began putting white band-aids on their faces. There was obviously no logic or president of unneeded band-aids being a sign of status, style or conformity, but, as this and any other use of celebrity endorsement shows, social proof is garnered by both initiation from a person of high status and wide-spread social proof of its correctness.

I'm not quite sure how to end this post, other than to suggest that one ought both appreciate the benefits that being social creatures has brought us, but also to be aware of the forces that often influence our decisions and perspectives. The Matrix has you.

Day 2

It's only the second day of the year, and I almost forgot to do this.

The Holiday Season has reminded me of one of my own personal limitations. One of the best definitions I've heard, to compare extroverts to introverts, is that extroverts recharge their batteries by going out and being social, while introverts recharge their batteries by staying in, while being alone.

The last few weeks have seen plenty of social gatherings, which is a good thing, especially after the last month of school I had before the winter break which had me pull two all-nighters, and kept me pretty secluded from friends. Many recent gatherings, including one today, and one again tomorrow, have centered around our nation's pride, Hockey, which I've enjoyed immensely [GO CANADA GO!], but, as always, I find myself feeling uneasy and exhausted if they're prolonged, and especially if they're on consecutive days or nights.

While always trying to better myself, I'm frustrated by this, and wonder if there's any process by which one can change, from feeling as though socially interacting is an expulsion of energy, to feeling as though spending time with friends, or even new people, is a means of receiving energy.

Hello, 2011.

2011 started off with less than a bang.

Waking up on the spare bed in Lisa's house, it was 4:30am. DRINKING CRAMPS. Had the smarts to guzzle a couple glasses of water from the fridge, tried to fall back asleep, but couldn't: pain in my neck and shoulders was too bad, plus it was freezing. Stumbled around the sleepers in the living room to find my coat, walked home, more water, four ibuprofen, warm shower, bed. Wake up at 2:30pm.

Feeling surprisingly good, despite last night's copious consumption. The day is new, and I'm full of optimism for the year to come. 2011 is here.

I've somewhat recently become anti-mysticist [it's my blog, I'm allowed to make up words]. Being the expert pattern-finders we are, humans have a habit of finding mystical properties and elements in day-to-day life. People have a model of the world that includes some level of mysticism: from the romantic idea often spouted by love-smacked teenage guys in movies that they've just met 'the one' (their one and only true love, out of 3.5 billion people of the opposite sex on this planet), luck, fate, shapes in poofy clouds, and special properties of objects, places, and dates. I really don't buy any of it, but can't help but feeling a sense of new-found opportunity on the first day of the year. It's a day to start resolutions, reflect upon the year-past, and set one's self towards a better path in life.

Welcome, 2011. I look forward to blogging with you.