Narrative.

Probably one of the worst vexes about man kind is that we have minds.

Being 'present' alleviates us of this - the buzzing around of useless, often distracting, or, worse yet, destructive, thoughts that swirl around in our heads. I will call this activity - or, the part of of the brain that can't escape these cycles, 'the mind'. ...And so the mind is bad. A judgement call, I know, but hear me out.

Phenomenon: Hating someone, but only when you're not around them. Why? Narrative. Where does narrative spawn and feed? The mind.

I have experienced the phenomenon first hand: hating someone immensely while sequestered, but while around them, finding that, without altercation from my interfering/storytelling mind, that I didn't have a reason to hate the person at all. I might actually come to this realization in real-time, but as soon as the person went away, again my mind was free to swirl and create false narratives about this person and their interactions with me and what my mind thinks must be their motivations - and I again hate them, completely forgetting my lack of real-world reasons to do so.

The most positive and mind-altering realization I had maybe a couple of years ago: it was all in my fucking head.

Blogging

So I admit it: this blogging thing isn't going to happen every day.

It was a nice goal - a lofty one for sure, but unrealistic. Some days I just don't feel like blogging - and others, I have less to say than I feel warrants a blog. If I miss a day - should I really have to go back and re-hash it on a later day? I think not.

I'm still going to blog regularly - multiple times per week - but the guarenteed ever-day thing is getting dropped.

Consumerism

Starting 3 months ago, I committed the ultimate consumer sin: credit card debt.

Yesterday I got my 2010 tax return back. A considerable amount - a little more than enough to pay off the credit card debt - Yeay! So what do I do to celebrate? Go out and engage in consumerism. A new printer? $45? Thank-you-Walmart.

Louis C.K.

Thanks to Netflix, I've discovered comedian Louis C.K.

In a word: funny.

Not your typical funny either - he seemingly doesn't even need to try. A lot of comedians, even professional ones, feel like they're putting on a 'shtick' when they get up on stage- a false personality - their 'funny' personality - that isn't really them, but makes them feel more safe on stage because acting 'normal' would leave them too exposed. The result is that, while most comedians can be very funny, many come off as less than congruent.

Louis C.K. isn't that. He's just a guy who's naturally funny. He's frank, and comes off likely exactly how he does every other not-on-stage moment of his life. In fact, his 'jokes' are merely reflections of his life, and it's some of the funniest material I've seen from a comedian ever. Check out the clip below.

Netflix - Day 1

Today I signed up for my free one-month trial of Netflix.

I made one mistake, though: I started off by checking out those 'bad' movies I would otherwise never bother to check out. 'Titanic 2' was one of them. This was a mistake, as Netflix uses movies you've already watched to suggest more for you to watch, and I don't exactly want to spend my first month watching shitty movies.

But Netflix is great in principle - and it's a great deal: $8/month. The real drawback is its lack of content. It has lots of b-rated, older, and bargain-bin movies, and lots of the less-watched and TV shows. That's why my first month will likely be my last, but right now I'm watching Louis C.K., and I look forward to watching more of the stand-up comedy I've found.

Revelations

Had a revelation today. One of of those moments - usually in the form of several-hour-spans - that allows one to momentously see something from a new angle; to gain new insight about life; to dilate one's view to see things from a more objective, all-encompassing, "big picture" perspective. I've been having more of these in the last couple of years, which is a good sign. They're an indicator of growth, maturing, and that I'm slowly bettering myself as a person.

Big Boned

Today was not only my first day back to work, it was my first time to a chiropractor as an adult.

My chiropractor is hilarious; she talks about a mile a minute. But more to the point: My long-held suspicions have been confirmed. I am actually big-boned.

And going to the chiropractor was actually effective for the first time. I used to go with my mom when I was young - but for what reason I don't know. I was a kid, and wasn't particularly in any discomfort. This time around, I was, and wow, can't recommend it enough. Ten minutes and my right shoulder feels several-fold better. Going twice more in the next week and a half.